Today I attended Mass for Ash Wednesday, something I haven’t done in years.
Although it is not a Holy Day of Obligation in the Catholic Church, some priests say it is the most attended Mass of the year.
As I returned to my seat after I was done reading the passages from the Old and New Testament for the Mass, I felt a different, but familiar kind of collective energy in the Church. Ash Wednesday kicks off the Christian season of Lent, which has traditionally been a somber, penitential season in the liturgical year, as we prepare for Easter and the celebration of Christ’s resurrection from the dead.
But before Christ could rise, he had to die.
Which has always been sort of the point behind the penitential aspect of the season. We give up things, or, more proactively, engage in a positive behavior during the season, such as aiding those less fortunate or committing to reading and meditating on a psalm each day, to aid in dying to ourselves, or conversion of heart – which, in fact, is a lifetime process.
When I was a child, I admit I saw Lent as sort of a “punishment” handed down by the Church and/or God. That was when I believed in a God who was somewhere up in the sky, keeping a ledger of every little thing I did wrong.
I couldn’t have been more wrong in that image.
Now I know a God whose substance is Love, who describes himself as such in the holy Scriptures.
Through the years, as I have observed Lent in different ways – and with varying veracity – I have noticed a change in myself at the end of the season, even if ever-so-slight.
One year, in my early 20s, I decided I was going to put a quarter in a jar at work every time I caught myself speaking ill of someone, or saying an inappropriate word. It doesn’t take long to learn how to taste your words before you speak, when you are holding yourself accountable in a practical way such as that.
As I have grown older, instead of “giving up” my favorite candy, or ice cream, or whatever – which, let’s face it, really does not generate much of a change deep in our heart – I have tried to take on spiritual practices that will actually open my heart to the movement of the Holy Spirit in my life, and include a permanent change.
So I have to say, I was heartened today when I saw a link from the Vatican on social media about Pope Francis and his remarks on Ash Wednesday.
“We are dust in the universe,” the pope said. “Yet we are dust loved by God.”
The Holy Father added that we are precious dust that is destined for eternal life.
“We are the dust of the earth, upon which God has poured out his heaven, the dust that contains his dreams,” he said. “We are God’s hope, his treasure and his glory.”
Pope Francis went on to describe ashes as a reminder of the direction of our existence: “a passage from dust to life.”
But if we allow ourselves “to be shaped by the hands of God, we become something wonderous.”
Lent, he said, is a time of grace during which we can change our lives by letting God gaze upon us with love.
Hmm…”Lent..is a time of grace during which we can change our lives by letting God gaze upon us with love.”
Sounds quite a bit different from how I understood Lent when I was a young girl.
As I have evolved in my prayer life, particularly with a deeper appreciation of Christ’s Real Presence in the Eucharist, and the practice of contemplative prayer, I have been blessed to experience the loving gaze of God on my life.
I like it.
I believe more than any other Lenten practice of my life, that loving gaze of God has resulted in a deeper, more lasting conversion than anything.
Much better than the idea of a punitive God, waiting to cast me into eternal damnation at the slightest glance, if you ask me.
May all who observe this Lenten season, experience a renewed sense of the loving gaze of God on their hearts, and come to know him ever more deeply as a God of love and peace.
And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us. ~ Romans 5:5
SPIRIT MATTERS is a weekly column that examines spirituality in The Times’ readership area. Contact Jerrilyn Zavada at jzblue33@yahoo.com to share how you engage your spirit in your life and in your community.
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