- Love Is Blind, hosted by Nick and Vanessa Lachey, hit Netflix just before Valentine's Day, on February 13.
- The wild new reality TV show has captured audiences less than a week since its premiere. And though some couples on the show ultimately found love (spoiler alert!) others—like Carlton Morton and Diamond Jack—saw their engagements explode onscreen.
- But who was at fault: Carlton or Diamond? Here, I Don't Want to Die Poor author Michael Arceneaux examines the showdown.
When you’re credibly accused of misleading the person you intend to marry, “This is why I don’t deal with bitches like you” is probably not the best way to keep your fiancé happy.
I recently watched Netflix’s Love Is Blind, and I have to admit I haven’t been this captivated by reality TV since the first time I saw Joseline Hernandez on Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta dressed like she was originally planning to appear on WWE Smackdown. The show, hosted by Nick and Vanessa Lachey (because why not), finds strangers testing the old adage “love is blind” by willingly choosing to select a person to marry sight unseen.
The contestants are separated by gender—and yes, I immediately wondered why there were no queer pairings featured on the show. But then again, making a mockery of marriage is more of a straight thing: Let them have their traditions while we start celebrating our first divorces and remarriages.
These straight-identifying contestants are placed in “pods” where they date other singles without ever having to see each other—solely getting to know their "dates" by their voice and conversation skills. The contestants themselves vary from a 34-year-old woman tired of chasing athletes and ignoring short men (I, meanwhile, happen to adore short men; I call them “Hot Pockets”) to a 31-year-old virgin that somehow manages to not be the most interesting person on the show.
That honor actually goes to Carlton Morton, who calls his fiancé, Diamond Jack, a b*****...solely to further deflect responsibility.
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netflix
Carlton is from Mississippi and works as a social media manager. The son of a preacher, he has a very specific vision for his life that includes a wife and children. He lets us viewers know early on in a confessional interview that he has dated men in his past, but says, “It wasn’t about sex for me.” Currently, he says: “I want a wife now because I feel like women bring out a certain, like, nurturing, love and affection to the table that I don’t get from a guy.”
Meanwhile, Diamond from Chicago shares a lot of Carlton’s dreams and fears. She, too, wants to be loved and accepted for who she is. She worries about being hurt and embarrassed. She is ready for a lifetime commitment. And she, too, worries about being disappointed by someone again.
netflix
They have an instant connection that progresses quickly to flirtation. By the time the couple becomes engaged and they get to reveal themselves to one another (again, all part of the Love is Blind experiment), they are relieved to find their spark and connection translates physically as well. But unfortunately, Carlton proposes before disclosing that he has previously dated both men and women.
Carlton spends a significant amount of time on Love Is Blind talking about wanting to be loved for who he truly is...while willfully choosing to not say who he is. And no, he doesn’t owe anyone that explanation upon first meeting. But as I watched, I wondered how a social media manager living in this century didn't realize that a woman might want to know if the future husband she met on a Netflix game show is bisexual.
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It doesn’t help that there is a noticeable difference in his behavior once the couple finds themselves in more direct contact. Before she could see him, Carlton would tell Diamond how he struggled with displays of emotion, but that he’s learning to be different, signaling he is becoming a more evolved man. In front of her, however, this allegedly secure man who can’t tell his fiancé the whole truth starts to perform a stereotypical version of manhood.
When he says, “You make daddy feel good” and asks Diamond if she wants a “Mommy” hat, I physically recoiled. Ditto when he asks her whether she would get one with “Carlton” on it. And in none of these cringe-worthy moments does he bother to tell Diamond what’s been on his mind.
That moment finally does come not long after, but Carlton clearly seems more obsessed about his rationale for not sharing his full self with Diamond than he is concerned with Diamond’s feelings about it.
netflix
netflix
Yes, I am very familiar with the way “People are misjudged when they’re fluid.” But how does hiding it help? I felt sorry that Carlton had been rejected by people he thought would understand. And I get that for whatever he’s done in years past, his ultimate goal is to be “a good husband and father.” He is clearly intent on leading a very specific kind of life, and he has absolutely every right to lead the life of his choosing—the one he deems is “right.” However, when you are asking someone to lead that life with you as your partner, they deserve to know everything.
To be fair to Diamond, despite the fact that she was visibly stunned after Carlton told her he’s dated both men and women, immediately after receiving the news, she did try to be there for Carlton. She asks questions about whether he’s still interested in dating men, and while that might not have put him at ease, it was to be expected. She, too, wants to be accepted for who she is, which makes me think she might have tried harder to extend him that courtesy had he been more forthright about himself—before proposing marriage. Carlton denied Diamond that opportunity, so he should have been more cognizant of the potential consequences.
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On the fourth episode, set the day after their first conversation about Carlton's past, the two sit by the pool to have a conversation that quickly dissolves into a messy argument. That’s when he calls Diamond a “bitch" before she goes on to curse him out, toss a drink on him, and quote Beyoncé as she stormes away. Carlton—literally competing for dramatic effect at this point—also tosses the engagement ring (presumably insured by production) into the pool after she yanks it off.
Carlton’s fear of rejection may have come to pass, but I can’t fault Diamond. Carlton wants to be viewed favorably for “living his truth”...without actually living truthfully, then cries victim and lashes out when called on it. He has the nerve to say of Diamond, “She has proven herself to be ignorant, and she has proven herself to be stereotypical.”
Self-awareness: where are you, sis?
Although the entire breakup scene was hilarious (that Beyoncé line? Props, Diamond), it was also remarkably sad. On the day Carlton proposed, Diamond saw a ladybug she took as a sign from her deceased father that he was there with her. I still can’t completely wrap my head around this show and its concept, but I will acknowledge that all of these people were truly searching for love—and in Diamond’s case, I do think she wanted a partner.
I believe Carlton wants a wife so he can be a husband and a father, but I don’t think the actual person that becomes the wife is as important to him. If that were the case, Diamond would have been treated better—like she was genuinely loved and cared for. Carlton is right that there is nothing wrong with a man being fluid. What a pity that for all his projections to Diamond, if there is anyone on Love Is Blind who has the biggest problem with who Carlton really is, it is Carlton.
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