Chelsea Holmes, a forty-two year-old schoolteacher from Panama City Beach, Florida, likes to think of herself as a “prison matchmaker.” In fact, she started a side business matching inmates who are looking for a relationship with singles on the outside who are willing to give prison relationships a whirl. We see some of the fruits of her labor in the reality series Prisoner Of Love, where Chelsea and four other single people will navigate relationships with people on the inside — most of whom are ready to be released.
Opening Shot: “Finding love is hard” says a graphic as we see a few single women and men talk about being single. “I’ve kissed a lot of frogs in my life,” says one, “and they’re still frogs!”
The Gist: The reason why Chelsea thinks she’s an expert at matching incarcerated people to mates on the outside is that she has been a prison “pen pal” for years and realizes that these people she’s talking to are willing to be matched. She’s currently in a relationship with an inmate named Manuel, the first time she has gotten this intimate with any of her pen pals, at least she claims. Her mother Suz is horrified, as one might expect, but knows her daughter is the type who likes to “fix” people.
We then meet three of the other four singles profiled (Aluntra, who’s ready to get married to her inmate boyfriend Bryce, is introduced in episode 2). New York college student Isa found Devin on a pen pal site while she was researching a paper and the two of them fell for each other; Chelsea encouraged Isa to pursue the relationship. Devin claims he was only in the car when the incident that got him 4 years went down, but she rightfully has her doubts. As much as Devin says he has goals to achieve when he gets out, she’s just not sure, and she still can’t believe she’s dating someone in prison.
Then there’s Brey, a shy friend of Chelsea’s son Jacob. He is letting Chelsea set him up with an inmate, and gets defensive when a friend tells him that he’s nuts for doing this. When he talks to his father Dexter about it, the first thing out of his mouth is “What the f**k are you thinking, man?” But after going with Brey to Chelsea’s house to see her book of prison matches, Dexter starts to warm to the idea. Of course, when he tells his buddy Charmaine about it, her reaction is similar to how Dexter reacted to Brey.
In the meantime, Miguel has stopped messaging Chelsea, and she’s worried that he’s ghosting her. Her best friend Jonathan calls her out, because she’s ghosted people in the past, and he’s pretty convinced that Miguel — “who has a rap sheet as long as a CVS receipt” — isn’t the charming, trustworthy guy Chelsea thinks he is.
What Shows Will It Remind You Of? Prisoner Of Love is structured more or less like the original 90 Day Fiance, with the singles all having a friend or family member casting doubt on what the singles are convinced is true love. And how many times are those cautious friends and family members right on the money with their worries?
Our Take: How you view Prisoner Of Love really depends on how you view some of the other “dating shows” on Discovery+’s corporate cousin TLC, where this show seemed destined to land before being diverted to the streaming service (though the crime aspect could have made it a good Investigation Discovery show). If you think they’re shabby and exploitative, then this series won’t change your mind. But if you’re of the type who loves to rubberneck as you pass by accident scenes un your car, this show should scratch that itch quite well.
Where these shows have succeeded is finding one person per season that makes audiences want to scream and throw their remotes at the TV. So far, that person is Chelsea herself, for a lot of reasons. One, we’re not 100% sure that she’s being truthful about her age. Two… she teaches kids? In a school? Third, of the people being profiled — with the possible exception of Aluntra — Chelsea has made her attraction to the incarcerated into more of a pathology than anything else. “You can’t help who you fall in love with,” she tells the camera. Yes, Chelsea, you actually can; you can fall for someone who, you know, isn’t doing hard time.
Her naivete about Miguel, for instance, shows us exactly what her friend Jonathan sees, which is a person who likes “pretend” relationships instead of real, committed ones. We have no idea about how relationships have gone for her in the past; she could have gotten so burned that she likes the noncommittal commitment of prison love. But on first glance it looks like an illness, which is great for reality TV but not so great for real life.
Everyone else profiled in the first episode is coming at it from more of a naturalistic way. Brey and later his dad Dexter are in “why the hell not?” mode, for different reasons; Brey is shy and admits he has no game, and Dexter has made himself broke supporting people in past relationships who have bled him dry. Isa still can’t believe she’s in her relationship with Devin, and wonders if this is even a good idea to begin with.
They all seem less, um, strange than Chelsea does, and we’re curious to see how their relationships pan out. But we get the feeling that Chelsea is going to infuriate us for the entire season, and that’s exactly what the show’s producers want.
Sex and Skin: None. Jonathan encourages Chelsea to “get that dick pic!” from Miguel, but we all know that the only person seeing any sexy shots will be bemused corrections officers as they screen inmate communications.
Parting Shot: Chelsea’s friend calls her as she’s getting her lashes done and tells her that she put up a fake dating profile on a prisoner site to see if Miguel is hitting on anyone else. The camera cuts it right there, but what do you think?
Sleeper Star: Jonathan, of course. Not only does he have the hair of Chris Cornell circa 1992 but he sets Chelsea straight pretty much at every turn.
Most Pilot-y Line: We do love Chelsea’s extensive glasses collection, but we constantly wanted to reach through the screen and push those oversized frames up her nose so we could actually see her eyes.
Our Call: SKIP IT if the thought of making a reality show about prison dating horrifies you. STREAM IT if you don’t care and just want to see some good old-fashioned reality conflict.
Joel Keller (@joelkeller) writes about food, entertainment, parenting and tech, but he doesn’t kid himself: he’s a TV junkie. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, Slate, Salon, RollingStone.com, VanityFair.com, Fast Company and elsewhere.
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August 31, 2021 at 02:00AM
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Stream It Or Skip It: 'Prisoner Of Love' On Discovery+, Where A Matchmaker Connects Singles With Inmates - Decider
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