Every February I have welcomed the effort the Poway News Chieftain and Rancho Bernardo News Journal takes in soliciting love stories to share with readers during the week that we celebrate Valentine’s Day.
The fact my own birth missed this special day of the year by a mere hour could play a role in my interest, or perhaps I am just sentimental. I am sure my mother-in-law would definitely err on the birth connection.
Don Higginson
(Courtesy photo)
As Valentine’s Day was approaching in 2005, I was approached by a gentleman who had rented the Poway Community Center for a special Valentines dinner. He was hosting 25 couples and invited me to speak to the group. While not quite sure what I would say, I was touched by his gesture and heartily accepted his invite.
Unbeknownst to me at that time, our company was having a grand opening of our very first non-traditional location to be opened at the Flamingo in Las Vegas, to which I had been asked to speak. My quandary presented itself when I discovered the Flamingo event would fall on Valentine’s Day. Not wanting to back out of a previous commitment, my dear wife suggested we attempt to do both. So as Valentine’s Day arrived, we flew to Las Vegas, cut a ribbon, spoke to the gathered audience, then rushed to the airport and returned to Poway just in time for the event at the Community Center.
As is normally the case, my wife’s wisdom far exceeded mine. To this day I cannot recall what I spoke about, but I was enriched and touched by listening to couple after couple (some married 35 to 50 years) share stories and insights on love. The willingness for these couples to share was heartfelt and poignant, and perhaps their lessons learned could have been a salve to so many that have struggled in their relationships.
From the love of spouse, child, friend, pet, country, passion or hobby, love displays itself in so many forms and shapes, and indeed does transcend all. Influenced I trust by my own gradual ride into the sunset, I recently have found myself doing something foreign to me. I have been perusing the obituary pages in the newspaper. The fact that almost every one of these men who have passed away were military veterans encouraged me to dig a little deeper. I came upon a source of stories of those who have served and one immediately caught my eye depicting genuine love for country, spouse and family.
Thomas Zosel left Oregon at 19 to join the Army and fight in World War II. Before shipping off to Europe he married Irma Dobson. While assigned to an armored division, Irma prepared to become a mother. Twelve days after his son, Buck, was born, Thomas was killed in action near Normandy. Having anticipated this very possibility, Thomas had written his son a letter.
March 13, 1944. A letter to my son. “Hello Buck. I suppose that you are wondering what kind of a man your father is. Since there is a chance that you might never see me, I thought I’d better write a few lines to you ... millions of us over here are working, fighting and dying because we want America to be a nation of hope for mankind … Buck, the greatest treasure in life is to have the love of a really good woman. Your mother is the finest woman I have ever met, and by her true loyal love I have the strength to meet the harsher things in life … if you are as lucky as I have been in the choice of a mate, you will be a very happy man.”
There is no doubt that the many ills life throws at us would be cured with more genuine love, or perhaps, by simply following the sage advice I received in 2005 when one couple from the Poway Community Center event when asked how they had survived 50 years together. They simply replied in unison, “We always argue naked.”
Higginson served on the Poway City Council from 1986 to 2014. He was also Poway’s mayor from 1989-90, 1992-98 and 2009-14.
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February 26, 2021 at 06:48AM
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