The silence of loss like the smell of rotting trash buried in tunnels; you can’t erase the burn. I think about how much easier it would be if we didn’t love so deeply. As the iconic song by Tina Turner says, "What’s love got to do with it; who needs a heart when a heart can be broken,” I understand exactly what she means.
When we offer our hearts to another person and then are abandoned either by death or divorce, the ache within leaves us exposed and vulnerable.
We flap around like wingless birds, trying to fly but remaining grounded, giving in to the stench of grief. Flushed by tears and shouting to heaven; searching for answers when there are none, we lament the past and fear the future. Crying, "Is this all that’s left of my life?"
What do I do with unending pain, turmoil and confusion? The burden of sorrow and regret become the living tomb of wounds without an exit. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Though the heart is rent in two, we can embrace the fear of the unknown, and let the weight of memories refine us into purer and gentler people. The path to living with more love will widen or we can stay paralyzed in sadness. Desert suns of despair need not be followed anymore, and we can have the courage to let love be the answer.
In the vignette “My Name” by Sandra Cisneros, her grandmother’s life didn’t turn out quite the way she imagined it would, so instead of making the best out of it, she looked out the window her whole life, sitting her sadness on an elbow like so many do. There is another choice. The love of Jesus; allowing Him to ameliorate our hearts of regrets and sorrow. To move forward, we choose to embrace the sweet memories, opening our hearts to love knowing that it will be broken again, for we are all imperfect.
Life is not a smooth journey; tragedies and disappointments affect all, one way or another. People say that in spite of their difficulties they're stronger, but in reality it’s not in spite of that we grow, it's because of the suffering. If we let pain do its work, we will be resolute and ready to help others who are hurting, too.
Focusing on living generously without counting the return is the hardest job; to live and do it with eyes and heart open, is like the sea splitting in two. Though I've aged in the face of death and divorce, and although railroad tracks of grief run through my heart, I choose to love, forgive, and push through the weeds of shattered dreams. The season of spring eternal in my mind urges me to pick up my cross and walk.
Losing a loved one is the ultimate tragedy, but if I knew the ending before the beginning, I still would choose to break my heart for love.
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November 09, 2020 at 11:00PM
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Break my heart for love | Guest Columns | The Daily News - Galveston County Daily News
"love" - Google News
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